what are we doing to our kids?  That’s the question.  Why have we all of a sudden become this group of parents who has to hover over our children?  Why has this become the better way of parenting?  I don’t get it.

The reason I am bringing this up is due to so many news stories that have come out recently regarding parents who are being arrested and charged for negligence, child endangerment, and so forth, all because they left their children outside to play by themselves.  It is absolutely ridiculous.  We have places that have laws about the ages of children playing in playgrounds.  Laws about the age a child has to be before they can play outside by themselves.  And laws stating it’s illegal to discipline our kids in any way.  What the hell?

While we are on the subject, let’s talk about school as well.  A lot of schools don’t even have competitive sports anymore because someone may get hurt or, and this is my favourite, it isn’t fair to those that may not be physically fit.  Wow, when I went to school it didn’t matter.  Everyone participated in high jump, long jump, triple jump, 100 yard dash, etc. and if you didn’t place you were out.  If you were lucky you got a participation ribbon and no one made a big deal about it, students or teachers or parents.  We weren’t acknowledged for losing but for winning and we didn’t expect any acknowledgment either.   Big deal, all that meant to most of us was we got to go to the canteen and eat to our hearts content while the others all had to compete. It is so sad that students can’t learn what real competition is anymore.

Let’s talk about grades as well.  When we went to school we got marks from Grade One on, at least I did, but I’m old so that’s why.  Our report cards listed our marks and the teachers added comments such as:  “talks too much in class”, “doesn’t listen when spoken too”, “refuses to hand in homework on time”, and what happened when our parents saw it?  We were usually given a good tongue lashing and told to shape up.  There was no coddling, there were no teachers saying “it’s okay, hand it in whenever”, there were no hugs from mom and dad saying “it’s okay, as long as you did the best you could”.  We were told to do the work or face certain consequences.

Now, everything has changed.  We are teaching kids from Elementary in to Junior High and even in High School that it doesn’t matter if a job is done on time or even if it’s done correctly, as long as it gets done.  We are teaching kids that they can’t play outside alone because there is a chance that they could get hurt and mommy and daddy could be charged and maybe go to jail because they fell off a swing.  We are teaching children that they don’t have to be competitive to get what they want because it will always be given to them no matter the circumstances.  We are also teaching them that mommy and daddy will always be there to catch them when they fall and that simply isn’t true.

Children need to learn what failure is, they need to learn that it’s okay to lose, they need to learn that there will always be someone better than them, and they need to learn independence.  They need to learn that it’s not okay to not hand in an assignment because they don’t feel like it.  They need to learn to fight for what they want because Mommy and Daddy won’t always be there to fight for them, and they need to learn that individual competition is a good thing.

What happens to these kids when they get out in the real world?  From my experience in the work place they turn in to whiney adults who always need someone to do something for them.  They end up with mothers and fathers who will come in to the work place and tell the manager that “6 am is too early for Junior to work because he has a social life, so maybe he can start at 8 instead.”  They end up with parents constantly phoning the school and talking to the professors about whether or not classes can start later or if he/she can get a higher grade because they worked hard on that paper and they deserve it.  They end up with parents who will trash talk a child’s co-worker because he/she got a promotion they think their child deserved.

So again I ask, what are we doing to our kids?